AND NOW, THE FIRST SEGMENT OF "TERRIBLE FRENCH INVENTIONS!!"
Featured today is: Covert Overt Racism!
Yes, you read correctly. France is the master of hidden, yet obvious racism! Now, you may be thinking, "You're really a crazy fool," but I assure you, I am not.
I'm not sure if you are aware, but France has a law saying Muslim girls are not allowed to wear their kimar in public schools. The idea is to seperate church and state. Their reasoning on this point I cannot disagree with. However, it does almost infringe on a freedom of religion attitude. You can practice whatever religion you want...just as long as it's on our terms......
So, seperation of church and state, love it. I think we need more of it in the States. However, I was walking into one of my schools, the "ghetto" one with mostly a Muslim population (coincidence, I think not), and what do I see? Take a guess.....
A giant fucking Christmas tree! Right there! Right in the middle of the lobby!! I cant' help but wonder, is this different than the US? To me, I would say it's different. While it's true we have a "Seperation of Church and State" clause in the Constitution, we still put Christmas trees in the lobbies of our schools, but we do not ban any religous attire from our public schools.
So, thank you France for inventing Covert Overt racism and using it so liberally.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Stardate -314049.5980697228
So, this past weekend, Cari and I decided to go to Switzerland. Neither of us had been there and we just really wanted to check it out. I was told by several people not to go...most notably my French mom, Chantal. But, me, being so stubborn, just had to check it out.
The vacay started off normally. Cari and I got on the train, which was really nice. Everything is going just great, until we hear an announcement over the speaker.
We weren't really paying attention, but I was not going to understand it at all anyways, so we didn't hear what they said. We sat in this one town for a really long time and we finally began moving again. The SNCF man started walking through the train and taking tickets. I had everything ready so I could just give him everything.
He took on look at my ticket and asked me, in mumbled French, "So you're going to Geneve. You were supposed to get on the last car at the last stop." (I clearly did not understand any of this and left everything to Cari to figure out.) Turns out, the train broke apart!!! I didn't know that kind of technology existed in France! You could just color me embarassed at this point. Cari asked how to get to Geneva from where we were and where we were going.
Three stops later, we got off the train in Annemasse, a nice little border town, but much nicer than the ones in Texas. We bought a bus ticket at the Office of Tourism there and 10 minutes later we were at the douane. Cari said it was a very serious place and you can't have your cameras out and all that jazz. We followed some people who looked like they knew where they were going and we traversed the border by foot and we were in Switzerland! No passport check. No baggage check. No racial profiling! No tampon in my passport!
After thinking we broke several international laws, because I had a bag of oranges in my backpack, we were ready to go out and see the city! It was chillier than I have felt so far in France, probably from the high altitude. The first stop was the Cathedral where you could see a panoramic view of the city. But, we never quite made it because we took a wrong turn, and stumbled on the gem that is the Jet d'Eau.
The Jet d'Eau shoots water from Lake Geneva out at 200 km/h and 140m into the air! It was actually really cool to see. However, the walkway was really dangerous. It was soooo narrow and had no guard rails. It is a wonder more tourist lives are not lost every year.....
After that, we really decided to go the Cathedral. So, we walked in that general direction and came across an odd little ceremony. It included people in period costumes, open fires cooking food, and said people selling these little pins for your lapel (I had mistaken them for gypsies and did not make eye contact for a while). Cari and I had NO idea what the hell they were doing, so we just went with it, fighting our way into the church where they were the most populous. However, once inside, we could not go up in the tower because we did not have Swiss Francs and it looked clothes...whoopsies!
With all major tourist sites seen, we decided to walk around and came across the Musee des Beaux Arts. I saw a little sign hanging from the lampposts that they had a Nefertiti and Akenantin exhibit, and I was all for it! We went in and the receptionist didn't make us pay because we said we were students, which we aren't, and because we didn't have francs. The exhibit was really cool, looking at heiroglyphics from 1000s of years ago. There was also a movie about how to read heiroglyphics, which was really interesting. I only understood it becaus
e it was pictures haha.
From there, we stumbled on the Russian church which looks like the one in Moscow, but smaller I imagine. I thought this was an odd choice, but there must be a pretty strong Russian Orthodox population. I'm guessing there was a huge rise in the population after The Wall came down. Those run down Soviets wanted a taste of what money and banks looked like.
More walking around and boring stuff...but eventually went back to the hostel where I fell asleep for a little. It was a long day looking at all that wealth and wishing I was a part of it.
(1 Hour Later)
I woke up and it was dinner time. We really wanted to taste the local fare, which was fondue!! We went to one restaurant and asked if we could eat fondue and they said, "Yes, yes, of course!" like we were fools for wanting it. Literally, 5 minutes later, they said they had no fondue. 5 seconds later we left.
So we walked in the cold mountain air and finally found a place that had fondue. We ordered and it came and we were so excited. The server lit the little candle underneath the pot and almost immediately, the cheese started to bubble. I thought the flame was on too high but was reassured by Cari it was not. The cheese was devoured a few minutes later, but not before a couple of battle wounds. Both of us burned the roofs of our mouths and I burned my lip!!! What is Switzerland trying to do to me?!?!
It was after dinner we decided to see the Jet d'Eau at night, since there is nothing else to see. So, took the tram to the Centre Ville and started walking the exact same route we took earlier that day. It was when we got to the Lake that we stumbled upon the drug transaction taking place! I said, in a very calm voice, "Oh, this is scary," and Cari and I just walked the other way from the Jet d'Eau, which was not even on!! I swear, Switzerland is crazy! That was the icing on the cake and we decided to head back to the hostel so we could sleep and just leave this city ASAP!
We woke up in the morning, and decided to go to the UN building and see it. It was actually really cool, even just the outside! There was an awesome scuplture there called "Broken Chair" which celebrated the world ban on land mine usage. Very cool. From there, we went to the train station, where we hunkered in a phone booth eating the last of my clementines because we thought we couldn't take them back to France. Little did we know there was no one who even cared to look at our passports at the customs area!!
I was never happier to be on the train heading back to Lyon from this ill begotten vacatoin from Hades.....
The vacay started off normally. Cari and I got on the train, which was really nice. Everything is going just great, until we hear an announcement over the speaker.
We weren't really paying attention, but I was not going to understand it at all anyways, so we didn't hear what they said. We sat in this one town for a really long time and we finally began moving again. The SNCF man started walking through the train and taking tickets. I had everything ready so I could just give him everything.He took on look at my ticket and asked me, in mumbled French, "So you're going to Geneve. You were supposed to get on the last car at the last stop." (I clearly did not understand any of this and left everything to Cari to figure out.) Turns out, the train broke apart!!! I didn't know that kind of technology existed in France! You could just color me embarassed at this point. Cari asked how to get to Geneva from where we were and where we were going.
Three stops later, we got off the train in Annemasse, a nice little border town, but much nicer than the ones in Texas. We bought a bus ticket at the Office of Tourism there and 10 minutes later we were at the douane. Cari said it was a very serious place and you can't have your cameras out and all that jazz. We followed some people who looked like they knew where they were going and we traversed the border by foot and we were in Switzerland! No passport check. No baggage check. No racial profiling! No tampon in my passport!
After thinking we broke several international laws, because I had a bag of oranges in my backpack, we were ready to go out and see the city! It was chillier than I have felt so far in France, probably from the high altitude. The first stop was the Cathedral where you could see a panoramic view of the city. But, we never quite made it because we took a wrong turn, and stumbled on the gem that is the Jet d'Eau.
The Jet d'Eau shoots water from Lake Geneva out at 200 km/h and 140m into the air! It was actually really cool to see. However, the walkway was really dangerous. It was soooo narrow and had no guard rails. It is a wonder more tourist lives are not lost every year.....
After that, we really decided to go the Cathedral. So, we walked in that general direction and came across an odd little ceremony. It included people in period costumes, open fires cooking food, and said people selling these little pins for your lapel (I had mistaken them for gypsies and did not make eye contact for a while). Cari and I had NO idea what the hell they were doing, so we just went with it, fighting our way into the church where they were the most populous. However, once inside, we could not go up in the tower because we did not have Swiss Francs and it looked clothes...whoopsies!
With all major tourist sites seen, we decided to walk around and came across the Musee des Beaux Arts. I saw a little sign hanging from the lampposts that they had a Nefertiti and Akenantin exhibit, and I was all for it! We went in and the receptionist didn't make us pay because we said we were students, which we aren't, and because we didn't have francs. The exhibit was really cool, looking at heiroglyphics from 1000s of years ago. There was also a movie about how to read heiroglyphics, which was really interesting. I only understood it becaus
e it was pictures haha.From there, we stumbled on the Russian church which looks like the one in Moscow, but smaller I imagine. I thought this was an odd choice, but there must be a pretty strong Russian Orthodox population. I'm guessing there was a huge rise in the population after The Wall came down. Those run down Soviets wanted a taste of what money and banks looked like.
More walking around and boring stuff...but eventually went back to the hostel where I fell asleep for a little. It was a long day looking at all that wealth and wishing I was a part of it.
(1 Hour Later)
I woke up and it was dinner time. We really wanted to taste the local fare, which was fondue!! We went to one restaurant and asked if we could eat fondue and they said, "Yes, yes, of course!" like we were fools for wanting it. Literally, 5 minutes later, they said they had no fondue. 5 seconds later we left.
So we walked in the cold mountain air and finally found a place that had fondue. We ordered and it came and we were so excited. The server lit the little candle underneath the pot and almost immediately, the cheese started to bubble. I thought the flame was on too high but was reassured by Cari it was not. The cheese was devoured a few minutes later, but not before a couple of battle wounds. Both of us burned the roofs of our mouths and I burned my lip!!! What is Switzerland trying to do to me?!?!
It was after dinner we decided to see the Jet d'Eau at night, since there is nothing else to see. So, took the tram to the Centre Ville and started walking the exact same route we took earlier that day. It was when we got to the Lake that we stumbled upon the drug transaction taking place! I said, in a very calm voice, "Oh, this is scary," and Cari and I just walked the other way from the Jet d'Eau, which was not even on!! I swear, Switzerland is crazy! That was the icing on the cake and we decided to head back to the hostel so we could sleep and just leave this city ASAP!
We woke up in the morning, and decided to go to the UN building and see it. It was actually really cool, even just the outside! There was an awesome scuplture there called "Broken Chair" which celebrated the world ban on land mine usage. Very cool. From there, we went to the train station, where we hunkered in a phone booth eating the last of my clementines because we thought we couldn't take them back to France. Little did we know there was no one who even cared to look at our passports at the customs area!!
I was never happier to be on the train heading back to Lyon from this ill begotten vacatoin from Hades.....
Monday, December 01, 2008
Stardate -314081.9741069622
Let me tell me about a little thing called "The Worst Day I've Had in France." It started on the 27th of November. I had to wake up very early for my early class, which was not bad since I have been doing it for my sojourn in France thus far. The 45 second walk to the Metro was normal and nothing uneventful happened. However, once on the train, an announcer came over the speakers to tell us that there were some technical difficulties. This concerned me a little because there is no driver for this train. It is all automatic. Anyways, three minutes later, we were on our way. When we pulled up to the next stop, the platform was completely packed with people!! I just thought to myself, "Damnit!" I hate it when the Metro is so packed you cannot even breathe, but I guess that is just life.
We pulled into the station where I transfer and as I was walking up the stairs, which happened to be a stopped escalator....and whoops, I tripped right up those stairs! I was so embarassed, but I think I played it off really well and did not stop the foot traffic. It is going to take a little bit more than that to trample me French commuters! As I pulled myself up and continued on my way, I said to myself, "You know Vince, I think it's just going to be one of those days."
The day went on pretty well. My throat started to hurt due to some pretty heinous post nasal drip, but I did not let that stop me. Later, I went to one of my classes, and, for whatever reason imaginable, I was sitting in the wrong room! I was so embarassed! There were students standing outside saying, "I think you are in the wrong room," in broken English of course. Not the worst thing, but it just had to happen on that day!
Seeing as how I moved into my apartment the day before, I decided I should purchase some sort of bedding. So, I went to my local Carrefour, which is the Wal-Mart equivalent. I spent a really long time looking at stuff to buy because, I mean, I have to sleep on this stuff. Turns out, I just picked the cheapest stuff there and nothing really matches consequently. Here's where the good stuff really happens.
I walked up to a checkout line that said, "Caisse Pass," which is for people who only have a Carrefour card. The cashier saw me and asked me a question I really didn't understand, so I smiled and slowly backed away. I stepped to the next lane, and this was "Caisse Pass" and "Carte Bancaire." I said to myself, "Well, I think I have one of those!" However, this did not stop the pushy Carrefour employees from interrogating my means of payment; and this time, it was a duo! It was a manager training the new guy. So, the manager asked me question, but I could not hear her, so I asked her again, and she came out and asked me how I was paying. I was confused so I said my credit card and she asked me something else and I confirmed and she was satisfied with that.
5 minutes later, the time came for my items to be scanned. Everything was going to plan, but the cashier just stopped half way through and was told me the total of half of my items. I pointed to the rest of the items and was so hot (it was about 73 degrees celsius) and flustered I could not think of the words to communicate. He understood my arachaic form of communication and continued scanning. At this point, the manager noticably laughing and I just ignored her. The transaction was almost complete and the cashier asked me a question to the likes of, "parquer." Now, this is not even French French, this is Canadian French. Ol' dude thought I was Canadian!! It was during this time that the manager just lost it and burst out laughing and said, "He's not Canadian! He doesn't even speak French!"
I mean damn bitch! She did NOT have to call me out like that! Whatever, I just paid and left very frustrated and very embarassed.
Now, you must be thinking to yourself, this sordid tale must be over! What more can this poor soul take in one day? Well, I finally got back on the Metro to go home, which was way packed of course because everyone is trying to go home. I was OK with that, but on the way to one of the stops, the lights turned out and the train SLAMMED on the brakes! EVERYONE, inlcuding myelf, went flying forward! I was just like, "What the hell!!??" An announcer came on and said there was an accident at another stop, which we were not heading.
I made it home shortly thereafter, thank Yahweh. I unpacked my shit, curled up, and pretended I was someone else for the rest of night. I guess it could have been worse for the worst day in France haha!
We pulled into the station where I transfer and as I was walking up the stairs, which happened to be a stopped escalator....and whoops, I tripped right up those stairs! I was so embarassed, but I think I played it off really well and did not stop the foot traffic. It is going to take a little bit more than that to trample me French commuters! As I pulled myself up and continued on my way, I said to myself, "You know Vince, I think it's just going to be one of those days."
The day went on pretty well. My throat started to hurt due to some pretty heinous post nasal drip, but I did not let that stop me. Later, I went to one of my classes, and, for whatever reason imaginable, I was sitting in the wrong room! I was so embarassed! There were students standing outside saying, "I think you are in the wrong room," in broken English of course. Not the worst thing, but it just had to happen on that day!
Seeing as how I moved into my apartment the day before, I decided I should purchase some sort of bedding. So, I went to my local Carrefour, which is the Wal-Mart equivalent. I spent a really long time looking at stuff to buy because, I mean, I have to sleep on this stuff. Turns out, I just picked the cheapest stuff there and nothing really matches consequently. Here's where the good stuff really happens.
I walked up to a checkout line that said, "Caisse Pass," which is for people who only have a Carrefour card. The cashier saw me and asked me a question I really didn't understand, so I smiled and slowly backed away. I stepped to the next lane, and this was "Caisse Pass" and "Carte Bancaire." I said to myself, "Well, I think I have one of those!" However, this did not stop the pushy Carrefour employees from interrogating my means of payment; and this time, it was a duo! It was a manager training the new guy. So, the manager asked me question, but I could not hear her, so I asked her again, and she came out and asked me how I was paying. I was confused so I said my credit card and she asked me something else and I confirmed and she was satisfied with that.
5 minutes later, the time came for my items to be scanned. Everything was going to plan, but the cashier just stopped half way through and was told me the total of half of my items. I pointed to the rest of the items and was so hot (it was about 73 degrees celsius) and flustered I could not think of the words to communicate. He understood my arachaic form of communication and continued scanning. At this point, the manager noticably laughing and I just ignored her. The transaction was almost complete and the cashier asked me a question to the likes of, "parquer." Now, this is not even French French, this is Canadian French. Ol' dude thought I was Canadian!! It was during this time that the manager just lost it and burst out laughing and said, "He's not Canadian! He doesn't even speak French!"
I mean damn bitch! She did NOT have to call me out like that! Whatever, I just paid and left very frustrated and very embarassed.
Now, you must be thinking to yourself, this sordid tale must be over! What more can this poor soul take in one day? Well, I finally got back on the Metro to go home, which was way packed of course because everyone is trying to go home. I was OK with that, but on the way to one of the stops, the lights turned out and the train SLAMMED on the brakes! EVERYONE, inlcuding myelf, went flying forward! I was just like, "What the hell!!??" An announcer came on and said there was an accident at another stop, which we were not heading.
I made it home shortly thereafter, thank Yahweh. I unpacked my shit, curled up, and pretended I was someone else for the rest of night. I guess it could have been worse for the worst day in France haha!
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